


Bright

by shannyfish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Adoption, Canon Divergence, Christmas fic, F/M, Gen, Hanukkah, Paths, Prequel, Raylicity, Smut, Wedding, happiness, holiday scenes, smoaknlance - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 11:43:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5415647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to "Paths".  A look at all of the holidays in between "The Climb" and the beginning of Oliver's return in "Paths".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home and Family

= December 2015 - Starling City =

 

Felicity didn't know what she was doing there. She didn't want to be there. It wasn't because she didn't want to celebrate the holiday season or that she didn't love being with her friends that she considered family, it was just a hard reminder. It was a reminder that Oliver was gone and it was even more heartbreaking since it was the first winter holiday without Oliver. 

They'd ended up telling Ray about Team Arrow, but they'd not told him that Oliver had been the Arrow. Felicity just had felt for some reason that needed to be her special secret. She didn't want to have to share it. Diggle had told her that it was irrational, but he seemed okay with it. With how things had gotten a bit better with Ray being more involved with the team, Felicity was glad that she'd finally shared that part of her life. 

"You know, the party's back in the other room."

She didn't turn or even move when she heard his voice. He wasn't mad or upset, he was calm and even. Felicity stared out of the window. She really wasn't looking at anything in particular, she just felt the need NOT to be so involved in the merriment in the other room. Felicity knew logically that Diggle, Lyla, Laurel, and Thea hadn't forgotten about Oliver. 

It had been a year.

One year.

It seemed like longer.

Felicity almost felt like there should be a mandatory mourning period because she just couldn't figure out if she was taking it too hard or if there was something wrong with her. At first, it had been too hard. She hadn't wanted to get out of bed or do anything when she'd been convinced that Oliver was dead and not coming back. That had been hard. Even a year later, she still sometimes wondered if he'd just show up.

"I know," she finally whispered.

His arms wrapped around her and she tried to relax as her hands covered his. She was wearing a blue dress and she'd been fine the entire day. It had been gathering all together, Felicity thought, that had triggered her mini breakdown. Ray had been amazing. His feelings for her had been the same and she'd known that all along, he loved her. He had done everything she needed. If she needed to be at work, but was not actually able to do everything she'd done before for him...he'd pick up the slack. He'd work in the Foundry with her. He'd tried to be the ATOM for a while, but that hadn't really worked well. Ray had even given her all the space that she needed as well as being just a friend when she needed it. Felicity was certain that he had decided that he'd just follow her lead, he'd seem to only take a step forward in their relationship if she took that step first...and even then...he'd been cautious. He'd been beyond wonderful and she felt like she really didn't deserve him.

"What's wrong?"

"I--" she started and then thought about her response. It wasn't that she wanted to lie, but she didn't want to ruin the holiday party that Diggle and Lyla were hosting. "I'm just tired," she told him and reached up to push hair away from her face and to press against her forehead. She tried to hold the tears back. It was a pathetic lie, but it wasn't entirely a lie. 

Without a word, Ray turned her in his arms and just held her. 

It came without her permission, like it had been a year before. The tears flooded her and her chest ached from the sobs. She hadn't wanted to break down, especially not at the holiday party. This, though, this was apparently unavoidable. It had welled up in her and she needed to let the floodgates open.

He just held her.

Eventually, she cried herself out. He still held her and didn't push for anything else. Felicity rested her head against his chest, which she'd just soaked with her tears. Her mascara was likely ruined and her face make-up in general. She'd needed it. She felt better,although she was definitely exhausted.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No apologies necessary."

"I'm ruining Christmas for you guys…"

"I haven't honestly celebrated holidays in a long time," he said as he lifted her chin, and she let him, so that their eyes met. "And no one in the other rooms is going to think that you're ruining the holiday for them…"

"I shouldn't have come--"

"I think you needed this."

Maybe he was right.

Maybe not.

Felicity just stared at him. It was hard to know what she felt about Ray, what she felt like she had to permission to feel about him. She cared about him, but whenever her brain went to somewhere much more than that...her heart or her head or something inside of her just pushed it away. It didn't seem fair to Ray, but he seemed to be just fine with taking it at her pace...whatever that happened to be.

Silence.

"We--we should probably get back," Ray whispered as his hand dropped and he motioned towards the other room. "They've probably wondered where we've been."

Felicity didn't speak up all at once, but was trying to collect herself. She wiped the few tears that still lingered on her face and then let out a heavy sigh. "I probably look horrible."

He looked right at her. "You NEVER look horrible, Felicity."

God, he was so sweet. She couldn't help but smile in response. "I guess I should learn to bring make-up wipes with me…"

"I bet Lyla has some--"

"I don't want to--"

"No one's going to care that you were crying or that your make-up is running," Ray told her. And she knew he was right, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel self conscious just the same. "We're all friends here, right?"

"Family," Felicity corrected. She didn't miss how he seemed to smile when she said that. Even though Ray had been part of their team for nearly a year, he was definitely not a full fledged member and everyone knew that. It was likely because not only because were they holding a secret from him, but that he hadn't been there during the time of the Arrow. 

"Family," he echoed.

She took his hand and walked with him back into the other room. He'd been right, Lyla had almost immediately taken her to the bathroom and she and Thea had cleaned her up. Felicity had known that everyone was hurting with the loss of Oliver, but she was certain that other than her...Thea was the one that had been feeling Oliver's loss the most. Thea had lost her brother before, when the Queen's Gambit had gone down, but this had been different...and they were the only family she really had left.

"Okay, we're going to go out there and have a good time," Thea told her once she was cleaned up and they'd hugged for what felt like fifteen minutes. Lyla had left them after the first few minutes to make sure that cookies weren't burning. "We're also going to eat cookies."

"Thea--"

"Look, I know Christmas isn't your winter holiday, but I think this means a lot to John and Lyla...and Laurel," Thea said slowly. "Honestly, I didn't want to come either. I only came because I figured it was a better option than crying into a bottle of wine."

"We could have had two bottles together," Felicity partially teased.

Thea grinned. "Next time."

"I was fine earlier--"

"Yeah, I was fine until I started to get ready," Thea said. "The person who I kept thinking about was Baby Sara… I mean, we have to watch her open her presents, right? She's at that age where she's learning to actually RIP the paper…"

"I did get her a pretty perfect gift."

"Not as good as mine, I guarantee it!"

Felicity laughed then. "I guess we'll find out." She reached out and took Thea's hand and she smiled at her. She was glad that she had Thea in her life, it was like a still having a bit of Oliver in her life...plus, Thea was just an awesome friend. She liked to think of Thea like a little sister. Thea pulled her in for a half hug and then led her out of the bathroom and back to where everyone else was.

"Just in time for cookies!" Ray told them a bit too enthusiastically before biting into one.

"We definitely can't miss the cookies," Thea said as she sat down near Ray, but with enough room that Felicity could sit in between them and she did.

Felicity reached out to grab her own cookie and put a smile on. Even though Oliver wasn't there...even though she didn't celebrate Christmas...this was her home...this was her family...and they just needed to celebrate another year that THEY had all been together. She took a bite and then found Sara being set into her lap. She took the little one, though, and helped her to get a cookie. That's what she was for, right? She was pretty much Sara's aunt, so she had to spoil her...well, technically...they ALL spoiled her. 

"I'm glad that we're all together," Diggle said a few moments later.

"Me, too," a lot of them echoed.

Felicity hugged Sara and looked around at each and every one of them. No matter who was missing or how hard it was...this was home...this was her family...and they could get through anything as long as they did it together. "Me, too," she finally agreed. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TBC...


	2. The Last Year Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't been keeping this up like I am supposed to...I've been hit by medical issues and I had a major one with my daughter.

**= December 2016 - Starling City =**

 

"You know, I do like when we have breakfast together like that," Felicity said as Ray walked her to her office. They'd been dating, which was still sort of weird. They'd dated before, but she still found herself thinking of Oliver. Felicity had found it incredibly difficult to let him go and to move on, but Ray had been so patient with her and willing to be whatever she needed him to be.

In her office, Felicity found it festively decorated. She stopped and looked around in awe. She hadn't decorated or really had planned on celebrating Hanukkah or any winter holiday really. Ray hadn't really ever seemed into any winter holiday, so she hadn't thought it would be an issue. Sure, Palmer Technologies in general would be decorated just like the city...but Felicity had left her menorah at home and had decided not to bring it in.

"I was going to get a tree, but I was told that that's not actually correct," Ray said. "But I had help."

"You had help?" Felicity asked.

Out of nowhere, the all too familiar squealing scream of her mother rang out and she was suddenly hugging the life out of Felicity. "Oh my precious girl! I'm so glad that we get to spend the holidays together!"

"We are?!" Felicity asked as she looked towards Ray, her mother still wrapped around her.

Ray just shrugged.

"Of course we are!" Donna beamed. "How long has it been since we've celebrated together?!"

"I--I don't know…"

"Exactly!"

Maybe part of not wanting to celebrate the holidays, she thought suddenly, was that this would be the LAST holiday in which all of Team Arrow would spend together. Their operation to change over Starling City to Star City would be made real with the New Year. She and Ray would be the only ones left. Thea and Roy in Europe, John and family would be wherever ARGUS took them, and Laurel would be in Central City.

"Aren't you excited I'm here?" Donna asked her.

Felicity just needed a moment to breathe. She needed to think. "No, no...I am. I promise, I just…" She took a breath and then pushed it out. "It's unexpected…"

"Why do you seem so sad?"

"Everyone's going to be leaving once the New Year comes around."

She could tell that Ray hadn't expected that and he was running his hands through his hair. "Right...but we're going to celebrate until then," Ray told her. "It's going to be new beginnings for us all."

And that was TRUE.

"He's right," Donna told her hugging her a bit tighter before finally letting her go, though still with her arm around her. "New beginnings are important...how about you two?"

"We're...you know...going to both still be here," Felicity said slowly and when she saw the look on her mother's face, she knew where she was going with this. But before she could say anything, her mother was already talking.

"But you two...you know...you're such a cute couple...and I'm not getting any younger," Donna told them quite seriously. "I expect grandbabies…"

"Mom," Felicity practically yelped her name and suddenly felt a bit faint. She and Ray hadn't been dating AGAIN for THAT long. Sure, things were good between them, but they hadn't gotten to the point where either of them were discussing marriage. Well, they'd thrown it out there after drinking a few glasses of wine, but then the conversation would end up being dropped when she'd sober up thinking about everything that was about to change.

It was a lot to take in.

The change.

Losing the life she'd grown so accustom to.

Maybe her mom was right, it was a time for new beginnings. Maybe that did mean moving on and doing it in big ways. She wasn't sure, but what she was sure about was that none of that needed to be decided in that moment. Right now all they needed to do was to enjoy the time they had remaining with their friends still being in the same city. None of that made her mother's visit less stressful though.

"How about a grand...puppy?" Felicity suggested. It was all she could come up with in that moment.

Her mother looked quite seriously at her. "No."

"No? Really?" Felicity asked and was a bit disappointed. It wasn't that she really needed a reason to get a dog, it was more that she was hoping that perhaps that would be a good way to get her mother to drop the need for grandchildren so soon. Felicity just simply wasn't ready. One step at a time.

"How about I let you two go and have your day together?" Ray suggested.

"My mom and I…" Felicity said slowly as she motioned to her mother and then herself. She'd JUST gotten to work. Felicity had planned a day of catching up on all of the paperwork and e-mails that needed to be done as well as prepping for a meeting later in the week. Taking the day off wasn't something that she had expected or intended her day to be like. "But I--and the e-mails...and the meeting--and--and--"

"I've got it handled," Ray told her with a wave of his hand.

"Come on, Ray will be fine…" Donna told her daughter. "We've got a big holiday party to plan."

"We do?" Felicity questioned.

"This is the last year your friends are going to all be around for the holidays, so we might as well make the most of it, right? What better way than a party?"

Felicity wasn't sure about it, but her mother was like a force of nature. Now that she'd decided that they needed to do this holiday party, there was just going to be no stopping her. "Gifts?"

"Well, we'll do that too."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

"Are you sure? It's a bit…" Donna tilted her head as she spoke. "Different...isn't it?"

"That's what makes it fun and festive," Felicity told her mother, beaming a bit. She hadn't really been super into the idea of having this big holiday party and going out and buying a Christmas tree and lights and everything else. It wasn't because she didn't like the other winter holidays, she was just really not in the excited mood that her mother had seemed to be in. Then when she'd been in the fifth store with her mother, it had hit her exactly what they needed to do.

They were having the party at Ray's place and Felicity had the keys. She'd stopped at her place and grabbed some things before heading over to his. Slowly, but surely she'd organized their books together in such a way that they formed a rather large tree on the left side of the room they'd be celebrating in.

"I still can't believe that these aren't ALL of your books...I mean, Ray still has a whole bunch and YOU still have a whole bunch...you could make an entire other tree!" Donna went on in astonishment.

"I just wanted to make sure that I had enough of the larger books for the base," Felicity explained. "It's not done…"

"It's not?"

"No," Felicity told her mom and smiled. "We bought lights, remember? We also have decorations to put up."

"You're going to decorate the books?"

"The book...tree."

"Right," Donna said and then shrugged. "You're the genius, Baby."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

It wasn't horrible.

"You did a beautiful job," Ray whispered into her ear.

It was actually fairly nice because it was super casual. There was no worrying about getting ready on time, well not to THAT extent, though she swore her mom had forgotten about the 'causal' part since she was wearing a rather sparkly blue dress that exposed quite a lot of flesh.

"It wasn't just me."

"This," Ray said as he motioned towards the book tree. "This was all you."  
That was true.

She'd taken the idea of a Christmas tree and made it more personal. It was a book tree that was trapped in multicolored lights, multiple fandom trinkets adorned the 'branches' to work as ornaments, and the TARDIS lit up the top of it. It was filled with everything from a sonic screwdriver to a snowy owl to a golden snitch to a flurry of various starships attacking each other. The entire thing was made even more magical, by Felicity's opinion, by the LED candles and glittery snowflakes that she'd set up hovering over that section of the room using clear fishing line. It hadn't been easy, but she swore it was worth it.

Her mother had gone on a roll making sure that their Jewish heritage was also well represented throughout the room. Even though representing different holidays of winter was important to the Smoaks, Felicity was just glad that they were going to get to have this time together. She had hated planning and especially shopping for the party, but she knew it if passed by without her celebrating...then she'd regret it.

She'd didn't want to miss that time.

She didn't want anymore regrets in her life.

It was time to celebrate.

She and her mother had wrapped presents in blue and silver wrapping and set them near the book tree. The real fun part had been shopping. Of course, Little Sara was who she was going to miss so dearly not being able to be in the same city watching her continue to grow up. Felicity really loved spoiling the two year old and even more this holiday. Missing the Diggles was likely going to be the hardest for her. She, Diggle, and Oliver had been together since the beginning…

"Try to have fun," Ray whispered.

Felicity just smiled. "I am...I just will miss this…"

"We'll still have this."

"They're all going to be gone."

"They'll come back."

Felicity sighed and his arms wrapped around her. She placed her hands over his. "No, they won't."

"Just wait...this isn't going to be our last winter holiday celebrated together…"

"Ci-ti-cee!" Sara shouted.

Pulling away from Ray, she was immediately picking the two year old up. How she adored the littlest Diggle. Not only did she absolutely LOVE Sara, but Felicity had loved her namesake too and there was something so nice seeing Sara Diggle growing up this happy little girl who was so loved. "How's my favorite clever girl?"

"TARDIS!" Sara proclaimed as she pointed to the top of the book tree.

Felicity beamed with pride. She had been teaching her as much as she could about all kinds of things, amongst them...the TARDIS and how it was a marvelous thing. Normally, Sara just liked to run around with the sonic screwdriver making it light up and emit sounds.

This might be the last winter holiday that they celebrated together like this, but she wasn't going to let any of them go. She was going to call, text, e-mail, skype, and harass in general every single one of them. She'd keep tabs on them, especially Thea, because they were her friends...her family...and Thea, because Oliver wasn't there to watch over her anymore (not in THAT sense anyways). She'd just have to do things differently...anywhere ARGUS sent the Diggle, she could send mail, right? If not, she'd figure out how to get some drone to deliver packages to Sara because even distance wasn't going to keep her from spoiling the precious little girl.

"I'm just saying...you look GOOD with a baby girl in your arms," her mother whispered as she came up to her.

Felicity just sighed and shook her head. She wasn't ready. They weren't ready. The city hadn't even been changed over to Star City yet officially. She hadn't yet started the life that would come after Team Arrow and that part of her life had vanished. She needed that time. She needed time to figure out what she really wanted in life, to really consider if Ray was still part of it, and if she DID want a family.

"Also, who is that HOT man standing with Laurel?"

"That's Quentin LANCE...Laurel's dad."

"Is he single?"

Felicity was going to die. "Mom...it's Laurel's dad."

"That doesn't mean that I can't go TALK to him, Baby."

"He's divorced."

"He's not seeing anyone, is he?"

"I don't exactly talk to him ALL the time, Mom!" she whispered and was really dying about the prospect of her mom and Laurel's dad together. "He's the police chief--"

"I bet he looks good IN and OUT of uniform…"

"WHY did you have to even SAY that?" Felicity asked and was quickly moving away from her mother. She just couldn't handle it anymore. She looked at Sara. "Just be lucky that you don't know what ANY of that meant…"

"I get to have a present?" Sara asked her.

"Oh, don't worry...Auntie Felicity made sure that you definitely have a haul of presents."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TBC...


	3. The New Chapter

= December 2017 - Star City =

 

The doorbell rang and Felicity groaned. This was their first Christmas as a family. She and Ray weren't married yet, but they might as well be. They were engaged and raising three girls. The marriage part was really just a ceremony and a piece of paper at that point. 

Ray had invited her mom and had only told her the night before. He had tried to go on about how it was going to be fun and how the girls had really enjoyed the last time she was there...but for the life of her...Felicity couldn't get excited. It wasn't that she didn't love her mom, because she did...it was just that she was exhausted.

Being a parent.

Being a parent to three girls who were not technically YOURS and that you hadn't raised since they were born...that was a bit of a challenge. Most days were good, but some days were a bit bumpy. Felicity tried to do her best to be there when they needed her...but she was also working full time at Palmer Technologies as VP. It was all really exhausting. She wasn't the only one, Ray hadn't worked on one project outside of work since the first week the girls had arrived back to Star City with them. They were both exhausted.

Ray was the one who opened the door and still somehow had a smile on his face even though he was utterly exhausted. 

"Who's ready for some holiday celebrating?!" Donna squealed and the entire house heard it. It looked like she'd brought along enough things that meant that she was moving there, handing things off to Ray.

"Mom...I thought you were only staying through the holiday," Felicity said slowly taking in all the luggage.

The girls were there a moment later and her mother seemed too busy telling them that they were all 'angels' and talking about how much they'd grown and how much she'd missed them to answer her. Once Donna was done hugging them and kissing them, which meant transferring lipstick kiss marks onto their cheeks. "I am just SO happy that I get to spend the next few weeks with you!" Donna enthused to the girls.

"Few weeks?" Felicity said slowly and looked towards Ray. She had thought that it was going to be two weeks. This sounded a lot longer. Obviously he either didn't realize what he was getting them into OR he didn't know how to say 'no' to her mother. Felicity highly doubted that he was actually trying to drive her crazy or that he considered how her mother was going to push the fact that they needed to have a baby for her. 

It was coming.

Felicity could feel it.

"I'm going to stay through until after New Years," her mother said with a shrug and then was twirling her hair. She smiled over at Felicity. "Please tell me that you're invited that LOVELY Quentin over for Hanukkah."

Poor, poor Quentin.

Her mother had been practically stalking him whenever she was in town and she'd just NOT ever brought up the topic with him. She was too embarrassed. Felicity had just figured that Quentin was too sweet and kind to say anything about it and had just been genuinely nice to keep her from feeling embarrassed.

"Are you talking about Grandpa?" Clara asked with a sweet smile.

"Grand...pa?" Donna questioned and looked towards her.

"So, Quentin's probably the closest I've had to a dad in a while and he sort of was happy to take on the role of grandfather for the girls," Felicity explained. "It's not that big of a deal."

"YES IT IS."

"Mom, he doesn't celebrate Hanukkah."

"He came to the holiday party last year...with that weird tree."

"Christmas tree?" Clara perked.

"I guess we really didn't discuss what holidays we'd be celebrating this December," Ray said. 

"We always celebrated Christmas in Central City," Clara said quietly. 

Alex and Etta were quiet, but that was fairly normal. Once her mom was there for an hour...they'd all be chattering and likely worrying Felicity. What holidays to celebrate just hadn't been something she'd worried about when they brought the girls to Star City. They'd just been concerned about giving them love and a home...being a family. 

"Well, don't worry, Sweetie...we'll celebrate Christmas…" Donna told her. "But we're going to celebrate Hanukkah, too."

"It doesn't matter that we're not Jewish?" Alex asked.

Donna shrugged. "We had a weird tree--"

"If we're going to celebrate Christmas, I am declaring now...that that's the tree we're going to have this year, too," Felicity spoke up. Her mother really wasn't pleased by that. "It can be part of our tradition… As a family...THIS family...this is our first Hanukkah and Christmas together."

"Kids at school call it Chrismukkah when you celebrate both Christmas AND Hanukkah," Clara told them. "But I don't know how that makes sense...you would think it would be something like Hanumas…"

"Yeah...I think Chrismukkah sounds better," Alex told her.

"How about we all stop for a moment," Ray said. "I know that you guys always celebrated Christmas, but here's an important question...what is Christmas to you three."

It was a good question.

Everyone was quiet and allowed the girls to think about the question. Felicity knew that Christmas had morphed through the forever years of it being around. For some people, Christmas was a very religious holiday while for others it was all about Santa, shopping, and presents. Ray was smart to ask the girls what it meant for THEM, that would really help them know what they needed to do to make December right for them. Obviously they didn't seem to be against celebrating Hanukkah, too...so that was good.

"Christmas was about Santa...and presents...and being together...and the house being so beautifully decorated," Clara explained, completely lit up as she talked about it.

"For the record, I know there's no such thing as Santa," Etta told them.

"Don't you know?" Ray asked Etta as he moved close to her. "It's not about whether you believe in Santa or not...it's about believing in something that's a miracle...in believing in SOMETHING. That's the gift."

"It's like 'Doctor Who'," Alex spoke up. "Whenever you get scared, what do I tell you?"

Etta just stared at her for a long time before responding. "That the Doctor will appear…"

"Why?"

"Because in nine hundred years of time and space, the Doctor never met anyone who wasn't important," Etta responded. "I am important...so the Doctor would save me."

"You BELIEVE in the Doctor, Etta," Alex pointed out.

Felicity couldn't be more proud of the girls than in that moment. To her, it was going to make the tradition of the book tree even more special. It was also going to mean that they could add in the tradition of the 'Doctor Who' Christmas special as part of their tradition. 

"Alex?" Ray asked.

The blonde preteen shrugged. "We always had a tree and there were always presents...but that was all… My dad tried to be home, but that didn't always happen." She was quiet for a moment. "So, honestly, I'm excited for ANY type of family tradition."

"So, book tree," Felicity said.

Her mother crinkled up her face. "I suppose...we could do that...as long as we're celebrating Hanukkah...and that we can invite Quentin over...several times...while I'm visiting."

Felicity sighed and motioned towards Ray. "There's your task."

"Wait...what?" Ray sputtered, obviously surprised.

"But first…" Felicity said. She moved over and hugged her mom. "You're here...and I am not prepared...but I'm sure you're prepared for it...so," she said slowly as she reached out and grabbed Ray's hand. "I'm going to leave you out here to catch up with the girls while Ray and I go and nap."

"Nap?" Donna asked confused.

"Obviously we've been tiring them out," Clara said. "Ray fell asleep in his breakfast yesterday."

"I don't remember that," Ray mumbled as she pulled him back towards the bedroom.

"Don't forget what I want for Christmas!" Donna shouted after them. "It's not something you can buy in the store!"

Felicity just groaned and rolled her eyes. This was going to be a long month. She knew that she wouldn't be as grumpy if she'd known AND if she'd slept more. Holidays were no time of the year to spring something like this on her, she was really going to have to talk to Ray about that. 

For now, though.

They slept.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

When they woke and slowly made their way out to check on the girls...to make sure they were all still breathing, Felicity and Ray were shocked to see what they found in the living room area. They'd assembled a book tree and they'd already decorated it. They'd figured out how to get the candles and snowflakes to float from the ceiling in that section. She wasn't sure if it was done in the best way, but it didn't matter. 

They'd done it… 

Slowly, she moved towards the book tree and took in every single decoration they'd adorned it with. Tears filled her eyes when she came upon two that she hadn't expected. She reached out to touch them and she found Ray wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her. 

"Is it wrong?" Clara asked as she moved over to where they were. "I found them in a package, but Nan didn't think that it would be a problem to take them out."

The Arrow.

The Flash.

Felicity knew it was silly, but she'd bought them both a while ago, wanting them as keepsakes. The Arrow one had been a little harder to find. She had actually wished that they'd made a Canary one, but Sara hadn't been around in Starling City for that long...and the red costume hadn't been either. 

"I'm sorry--"

Reaching out, Felicity pulled Clara into a hug. "Don't be sorry...it's perfect...I wouldn't have thought about adding them."

Oliver.

Barry.

Her thoughts raised to the first time they'd met Barry, before he was The Flash. A smile graced her lips as she thought about how it was just around that time. God, she missed them both. Of course, Barry was just a train ride away, but Felicity hadn't visited Central City since they'd brought the girls to Star City. She'd text Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco here and there...and they'd ask for consults for Palmer Technologies things...but that was it. 

"Then why are you crying?" Clara asked her with concern.

"Because the holidays bring memories."

"Bad ones?"

"Good ones, too," she whispered and kissed Clara's forehead. "And we're going to make good memories...and we're going to figure out our own traditions and our own way to do the holiday season."

"I like that idea."

"Me, too," her mother said from the kitchen. There was suddenly screeching and when they turned, there was smoke coming from the stove. Her mother really wasn't handy in the kitchen...her being around the microwave and toaster was something dangerous...let alone the stovetop.

"Back away!" Ray called as they broke apart and moved to take care of the impending full on fire in the kitchen. 

"What are you making?" Felicity asked her mother.

"Latkes? I told the girls I would," Donna responded and was immediately weepy.

Before either of them could grab the fire extinguisher, Alex had already taken care of it. "What? I pay attention in school. "When Nan said that she didn't know how these were going to turn out and that she didn't really cook...I figured that it would be best to have the baking soda handy."

It was so sweet, Felicity thought, all three of the girls had taken to calling Quentin 'Grandpa' even though no one had forced them. It had actually been from Alex, she'd asked him if that made him like their grandpa and he'd liked the sound of it...so they'd started to call him that. Her mom, however, didn't like being called 'Grandma' because apparently that had made her sound too old...so after going through an entire list on the internet of different names to call grandparents…'Nan' had stuck. It was like Nana, but to her mom...it sounded more like a nickname than 'Nana'. It was nice, it made it feel more like a solidifying family. 

The girls had been with them for a few months now and they hadn't gotten all of the papers through yet. For Etta and Clara, it was an easy thing...Paul and Ella had had a will saying that their wishes were for Ray to have custody of the girls if anything were to happen. The snag was Alex, but they'd been granted temporary custody given the circumstances. With how many orphans or 'displaced children' had been left behind after the bombing in Central City, there was no way that anyone would remove a child from a safe, loving, happy home. Especially not at the holidays, but she knew that it was something that the girls DID worry about, even Clara and Etta. Clara and Etta actually didn't want to go through with the adoption process until they knew that Alex could as well, they wanted to do it all together and there were still so many things that they were all thinking about...questions that she and Ray had given them to think about before the final adoption papers were ready.

"Maybe you should stick to Menorah duty and dreidels…" Felicity suggested gently. 

"Maybe you're right," Donna gave in with a sigh. "There has to be a Jewish place that we can order from locally, right?"

"Yeah, but isn't it more fun to make it ourselves?" Ray offered. "I mean, maybe if we ALL work on together...we can figure it out and make them...safely...without there being a possibility of calling the fire department."

"And if all else fails, we still have more baking soda," Alex put out there.

Donna's face lit up. "I like that kind of attitude...and hey...maybe I'll learn something…" She motioned towards the book tree. "I learned so much from the girls about the decorations they used...things I didn't understand the importance of."

"I can't believe that Nan has not watched 'Doctor Who'," Clara said like it was the most insane thing she'd ever heard. "I mean...how are you related?"

She asked herself that sometimes, too.

Felicity just smiled. "Well, she's going to be here through Christmas, so that means that she can watch the Christmas special, right?"

"Oh yes!" Clara beamed and bounced a bit. "We are so doing it properly, too… Paper crowns and everything."

"Paper crowns?" Donna asked.

"We still have some time to figure out everything we want in time for any holiday any one wants to celebrate this month," Ray put out there. "Maybe we can go to that import store...the place that imports the things from other countries...what's it called?"

"World...Market?" all three girls asked slowly in unison as they stared at Ray before giggling like crazy.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

= December 12, 2017 =   
= First Night of Hanukkah = 

 

"One of my friends puts their menorah on the mantle," Clara said. "Does it matter where we put it?" she asked as they all stood in the rather large window in the kitchen. It was the only common window area where they could all pretty much see it in the common areas of the house. 

Donna had been telling them all about Hanukkah, stories of why it was important and stories of Hanukkah growing up. "I like to put it in the window because I think it shows that I'm proud of my heritage…" Donna told her. "Now, I know plenty of people that just don't like it there or they don't have a good window to put it in...or fire hazard--"

"Like that one year we burnt down the drapes in the living room and there was a permanent hole in the carpet?" Felicity brought up.

Smiling, Donna nodded. "I was hoping that she'd forgotten that story."

"It's actually a good memory...even though it was terrifying at the time… I remember how we rearranged the furniture afterwards so that we could hide the hole in the carpet under the couch.

Felicity was glad that the girls and Ray were so okay with celebrating Hanukkah. It seemed to really brighten her mother to be able to share traditions and stories with the girls. As she thought about it, thinking about all of the winter holidays there were in the world, Felicity was just happy and grateful for what they had...they had their freedom, their safety, a home, they had food, they had each other, and they had happiness...why not celebrate all of that?

"Happy Hanukkah," Felicity said quietly and just smiled, her eyes locking with her mother. Ray wrapped an arm around her and they just all stared at the candles lit on the menorah that night. Last year, she'd been terrified about everyone leaving...about moving on with her life...about this being a new chapter. Thinking back, she wouldn't change anything now...well, besides a bit more sleep. THIS was exactly where she was supposed to be...this was her path. 

This was THEIR path.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

= December 22, 2017 = 

 

It was the Friday before Christmas, which fell on a Monday that year. Her phone rang early, waking her. She and Ray had taken the day off and actually had given the entire company paid time off from Friday until after New Year's. They all deserved it, but given that...she hadn't expected any calls. 

"Hello?" she mumbled as she sat half up in bed, her eyes still shut.

"Felicity? Sorry to wake you...I wouldn't have if this wasn't big news."

It took her a moment...and then sitting completely up and opening her eyes before she could really process who she was talking to and what was being said. "Laurel?"

"Yeah...hey…"

"Hey."

"So, I'm calling you guys because I've been working to get as many kids that have been placed with relatives adopted by Christmas. That means you guys--"

"But the girls won't because of Alex--"

"The judge has already reviewed the files and on Tuesday...you need to bring the girls to Central City...it might not be BEFORE Christmas, but their adoptions will be official as long as they still want it," Laurel explained.

"Oh my God! Really? Tuesday?"

"Yeah, Tuesday. You guys ready for it to be official?"

"You have NO idea!" Felicity exclaimed as she moved to get out of bed. Ray was awake now and making curious faces at her one sided conversation that he was hearing. "The girls are going to be so excited."

"Will you be able to make it here Tuesday morning?"

"We'll be out on the first train," Felicity said. 

"Good, I'll see you there."

"Hey, Laurel?"

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas...and thank you."

"Merry Christmas...to all of you."

The phone call ended and Felicity just stood there by the bed almost in a trance. She couldn't believe it was happening. She set her phone down on the nightstand table and just burst into tears. There were so many emotions running through her. They hadn't expected this to happen until after the New Year. They'd gone through every other hoop. They'd gotten a new and bigger place. Her mother even had a room of her own when she visited. The girls each had their own room even though Clara and Alex had wanted to really share. They'd had home visits and interviews. The girls had been visited at school and had been talked to a few times. 

"Felicity...what's wrong?" Ray asked worriedly.

Even though she didn't celebrate Christmas, Felicity was suddenly feeling what Ray had said earlier in the month. That sometimes Christmas wasn't about religion or Santa...it was about believing… And they'd believed that they could be a family. From that point on, she knew that December and its respective holidays were always going to be extra special because they would not only represent when they were officially brought together as a family, but remind them that the truly important things with those holidays was about family and celebrating together. They'd made their own traditions that year and now they were even more meaningful.

She couldn't get the words out and sat on the bed for a moment, trying to contain and calm herself. She'd been waiting for that phone call...they both had. It had been expected. Felicity just was so overjoyed. So relieved. She also knew exactly what that was going to mean for all of them. It was going to be official. There wouldn't be any more need for worries.

"Who was on the phone?" he asked next.

"They're ours," was all she could get out.

"What?"

Felicity put her hands on either side of his face as she just stared at him. "The girls...they're ours."

"The adoption?"

"We see the judge on Tuesday."

"For all three?"

"For all three," she confirmed and kissed him. His arms wrapped around her and she wrapped hers around him. They both laughed in between kisses after a moment. Felicity pushed away the tears. They were happy tears. "Can we wait to tell them?" she asked. Her brain was reeling with ideas of HOW to tell them and WHEN to tell them.

"Uh, can it be before Tuesday?"

Felicity just beamed. "Before Tuesday."

"Okay," Ray said. 

"But now I have a lot of things to do--"

"Like what?" Ray questioned.

"I want to make them feel like this is their PERMANENT home," Felicity explained. "Remember I wanted to use those photos we brought from their house? I wanted to put their names up by their doors and pictures...I want to do that now."

"Okay...I think that would make things make this feel permanent for all of us."

She just smiled at him and then another thought hit her. "And...and I think we should get married on Tuesday."

"What?"

That blurted out bit really caught him off guard. They'd kept pushing back when to get married because of everything being up in the air about the girls. Why not Tuesday? "Then it will always be the day that we ALL became ONE family… We'll go… We'll get married at the courthouse. We'll get the girls officially adopted." She shrugged. "I never wanted a big wedding and neither did you," she reminded. "My mom's here… Quentin can come…"

"What about everyone else? They're all overseas--"

Felicity thought about that for a moment. "I know. I thought about it. It won't be the same, but we can skype it… Plus, this is OUR new chapter...right? The most important people are going to be there...plus it's not like we could really fit THAT many people in when it's a justice of the peace wedding."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"You haven't gotten a dress."

"I won't need one--"

"You should have a dress, Felicity," Ray told her. "You and the girls...you should all have a dress."

"You have suits...but I suppose I could get you a tie."

"And you know what? Even though Diggle and everyone won't be able to be there...we DO have family in Central City," he reminded. "Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Joe…"

"That's true."

"I'm going to call them."

"Right now, I'm going to just say that we're going to get married on Tuesday, but not tell the girls about the adoption...let's save that for Monday night…" Felicity said. 

"But they'll be trying on dresses…"

"So, I'll tell them it's for the wedding…"

Ray just shrugged. "Okay."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

= December 25, 2017 =   
= Christmas Day = 

 

They hadn't done a lot of presents since the girls had gotten gifts during Hanukkah. Christmas had pretty much entirely consisted of books and clothing, which were all things that they would have bought for the girls anyway. Quentin had come over and spent the day with them, he was in on what was going on tomorrow, and would be accompanying them to Central City (it was also a good excuse for him to hand deliver his gift to Laurel). Her mother, who was sitting incredibly close to Quentin, though still didn't know that anything was going on beyond a wedding. Felicity just didn't think that her mother could contain herself and wouldn't be able to keep the secret. 

"Okay, so we have one more gift for each of you," Ray said. "BUT you have to open them all at the same time."

"At the same time?" Alex asked suspiciously.

"They're not some kind of weird matching outfits, are they?" Clara questioned.

Felicity just grinned and couldn't contain her excitement. There were three white dress boxes, each wrapped with a different color ribbon and bow that were stacked next to Quentin, they were all labeled and he'd been given the duty to protect them until it was time. 

"You're just going to have to find out," Quentin told them as he handed them each a box.

The girls just sat there with the presents in their laps, staring down at the box. "Go on, open them," Ray prompted. Her mother was the only one in the dark, which was going to make the screaming THAT much louder when she found out what the gift was as well.

The boxes were opened and the girls just stared at their dresses that they'd already seen and tried on in the box. Their tights and shoes were also in the bottom of the box. The girls were confused and didn't seem to really be looking for anything more. "There's something else in the box," Felicity managed to get out without squealing with excitement.

"Oh-kay," Clara said slowly and all three girls started to dig through the boxes, moving their dresses.

In the bottom of all three boxes was a good size blue velvet box. Inside were matching diamond earrings and then heart lockets with diamond accents, their names were etched on each one of the lockets. In the top of the velvet box was the adoption announcement and that they'd take the train to Central City in the morning...there would be a wedding and adoption ceremony. 

"What is it?" Donna was asking.

Felicity didn't want to be the one to tell her mother. She could wait. This was for the girls. "What do you think?" Felicity asked. Clara was already bouncing in place and Etta was quiet, but then Etta was normally quiet.

"Is it for real?" Alex asked, obviously not sure.

"It's really for real," Felicity confirmed. "If you still want it."

"Of course we still want it!" Clara exclaimed and looked between Etta and Alex. "Right?"

"Right," Etta said with a nod as her fingers moved over the locket and her name on it. 

Alex got up from the floor and was hugging both her and Ray a moment later, Felicity held her tight and could hear her crying. "I promise I'm going to be good. I won't be a terrible teen or anything and I won't ask for anything and--"

"Hey, we don't expect you to be perfect," Ray said. "We're going to expect you to be YOU."

When Alex pulled away, Felicity reached out and wiped away Alex's tears only to find that she was crying now too. "And we WANT you to ask for things...this is REAL...it's official…"

"I still don't know what's going on," Donna said.

Felicity just let out a laugh as Clara and Quentin explained it to her. She pulled Alex into her lap and hugged her close. Her mother just started to scream like crazy and was hugging any one of the girls she could get her hands on. After a moment, when everyone was quiet, Felicity realized she needed to bring up things that they would need to know for tomorrow. "Ray and I have already told you girls that the adoption is up to you--"

"We're getting adopted, you can't get rid of us ever," Etta told them.

"It's a good thing that we want to keep all of you," Ray teased and got a laugh out of them.

"I want to change my name," Alex said. "I don't think anyone would care. I would rather be a Palmer than have a different name than anyone else."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Felicity questioned. 

"I am."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

= December 26, 2017 =   
= Central City = 

 

Felicity was fairly sure that no one slept that much the night before, but no one was complaining. They were getting there SO early and they had a whole group of people waiting for them and cheering when they stepped off of the train. It had been months since the girls had been there, but Felicity hoped that it wouldn't bring up bad memories for them since it was going to be a day of celebrating.

"Only visit when you need our courthouses, huh?" Cisco teased.

Ray hugged Cisco while Felicity was busy talking to Caitlin, who was already planning what they needed to do with her hair. "Are you sure? We wouldn't want to be too much," Felicity said when Caitlin offered they use her place to get ready.

"Yeah, go on with Caitlin," Ray said. 

"You're free to get ready...anymore than you already are," Joe told Ray as he motioned to him. He was pretty much ready. There were just a few things that Felicity had bagged up for him that he still had to put on, they were surprises that she'd picked up. "At the very least you can come hang out."

"Thanks."

Before she knew it, Felicity and the girls were off with Caitlin and Iris while Ray was left behind with Barry, Joe, and Cisco. Felicity was fairly sure that she saw her mother disappear with Quentin and Laurel. She just hoped that they all remembered what time they needed to check in at the courthouse. Laurel had even gotten their marriage license paperwork going and luckily there was no waiting period, she was fairly sure that was due to the happy and sunny nature of the city itself. 

No matter, she was getting married.

She was going to be Felicity Palmer.

She was also going to be OFFICIALLY the girls' mother.

It was going to be the greatest day ever.

It was also, she realized, going to be the first chapter in a whole new part of her life that she hadn't expected. She'd thought that the new chapter would continue from the year before...but she was wrong. THIS was something new. They were going to be this wonderful family...she was going to be married and a mother...and it was going to be so different than before. This was their new beginning...all of them...together.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The day was coming to an end. 

Quentin, Mom, and Laurel had arranged for a special reception at a local restaurant with a private room which they'd pretty much taken over the entire day. The girls were happy, Ray was happy, and she was happy. That was really all that mattered.

"One more picture!" Mom begged of the girls. 

The girls were all wearing everything that had come in the box from the day before. Their hair curled and pulled back just so that it was out of their faces, but still down. Etta was wearing teal, Clara was wearing light blue, and Alex was wearing pink. All three dresses were above the knee, no sleeves, and sparkly. They'd been all picked out by the girls and the colors just went together. The pictures from the entire day had been beyond perfectly planned. 

"We should just stay here tonight," Ray told her.

"I didn't bring clothes for the girls," Felicity told him quietly. 

They were both still wearing their clothes from the wedding earlier. Ray was in a tux, but she'd gotten him a white tie with the most beautiful opal flourish design on it along with a pair of TARDIS schematic blue suspenders. His jacket was hanging over the back of the chair and no matter how exhausted he looked, he was the most handsome man in the world to her.

Her dress had two layers. The bottom layer was basically a white short dress that had a sweetheart neckline and was strapless. It was connected to the top layer of lace, which fell to a couple inches below the bottom hem of the skirt and came up to form a scoop neck, extending out to create three quarter length sleeves. It had a natural waist, which was embellished with a large blingy piece. Her curled hair was half up and kept in place by bobby pins and a TARDIS haircomb. Even though they weren't having a huge wedding, she wanted there to be special pieces to it. 

"So, we just go home like this tomorrow on the train," Ray said with a shrug. "Or we go shopping."

They really hadn't done much in those dresses and from what she could see, the girls had kept their fairly clean. If all else failed, they could pick up clothes and change before they got on the train "You're right…" Her head fell onto his shoulder and she just smiled as she watched everyone. EVERYONE was so happy. Cisco had been kind enough to make it so that Thea, Roy, John, and Lyla could all watch the wedding and adoption ceremony from where they were and had kept them on his phone long enough that she and Ray had gotten to talk to them, it had been nice...and it had made it feel like they were there.

"Ray, Quentin wants to take a picture with you and the girls," Donna said as she shooed him away and sat in his seat next to Felicity. Her mother's voice turned down so that she could only hear it. "You know, watching you and Ray get married right there on the spot...I actually thought about asking Quentin to marry me right then and there. We could have had a double wedding!"

"Laurel and I aren't in that big of a hurry for you two to rush into any serious decisions like that," Felicity whispered. Normally she'd wonder what was wrong with her mother, but at this moment...it only cause amusement in her voice. She could just see her mother proposing and suggesting they get married too and Quentin being too confused and tongue tied to know how to properly respond. She patted her mother's leg. "Give it time, Mom."

"I mean, I've heard you...you call him Dad...he gave you away today."

She couldn't hide the smile. "Mom, it wasn't like he gave he away...there was no aisle to walk down…"

"Okay, so maybe that was in my head."

"Yep. I think so."

"Are you guys going to stay in Central CIty tonight? Quentin was asking because I guess the last train departs soon."

"I told Ray that we can go ahead and stay the night," Felicity told her. "We need to call hotels…" 

"Well, no need to worry about the girls, Quentin and I can babysit. I'm sure they have like a double connected room thingy...and you and Ray can have the honeymoon sweet," Donna told her, her voice still only low enough that Felicity could hear. Now she was patting Felicity's leg. "You two got to get to work on another grandbaby for me."

"You just got three today, Mom," Felicity told her mother with a shake of her head.

"I can't help it, I'm selfish...I need more to spoil…"

"You like to volunteer Quentin...a lot."

"You should just start calling him Dad ALL the TIME," her mother told her seriously.

Felicity couldn't help it and just laughed. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

They had their own room and they were both completely exhausted. 

"Am I the most horrible newlywed wife if I just want to sleep?" Felicity asked as she sat on the edge of the bed. 

"No," Ray told her as he came out of the bathroom, his tie and jacket had been tossed over a nearby chair and he went to work on slipping off his shoes. "I'm exhausted, too...and it's not like we haven't done...the deed...before."

Felicity just smiled at him calling it 'the deed'. She was almost deliriously exhausted. "They have a bottle of champagne on ice for us...but I know I'll be dead to the world after half a glass…"

"So, we just reseal it, no reason we can't ENJOY ourselves, right?"

A few minutes later, Ray returned to sit on the bed next to her with two glasses of champagne. "To a new beginning to our story...as a family," Felicity said and their glasses clinked. She took a few sips before handing Ray the glass and motioning for him to place it on the nightstand. She kicked off her white lace and sparkly heels until they landed in a far corner where she didn't THINK either of them would trip over them. Felicity turned herself on the bed, so that her back was to him. "Unzip, please?" A moment later she was being unzipped and when she turned back to him, dress still mostly on her, her shoulders exposed bare, she suddenly felt like maybe they would miss this magical moment if they just sort of skipped it and went to bed. 

He leaned in and kissed her and when she kissed back, they were goners. Ray's hand wrapped around her, holding her, and guiding her as he leaned back and placed his glass next to hers on the nightstand as they continued to kiss. Felicity grabbed hold of his suspenders to steady herself and felt a slight renewal of energy. 

This was going to happen.

"Are you sure?" he asked between kisses.

She was already unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it out of his waistband. His belt and pants were next. "Oh...yes…"

Ray wasn't complaining and she was fairly sure he'd gotten a burst of energy too. Maybe it was just that moment. She absolutely LOVED him, but it was like a lustful burst hit her. Maybe it was the clothes or all of the emotion of the day or the fact that it WAS their honeymoon night...whatever it was, Felicity didn't care and she was going to enjoy herself. 

His hands moved up her bare legs, pushing the skirt of her dress up before he pulled her closer. "I love you," he whispered as his lips found her bare shoulder, his fingers squeezing the tender flesh of her bare thigh.

"Ray," she moaned as she found herself unable to contain herself. She wanted him so badly. Her whole body was hot and on fire. Every part of her wanted him. 

Trying to push forward, she pushed his shirt and suspenders away and went to work trying to unbuckle his pants, which was harder now that he'd pulled her so close. Her hips rolled against him, her already wet center pressed against his leg as she did so. Ray unfastened her white strapless bra and was hauling it and her dress up over her head. He was careful about discarding it to a nearby chair in one graceful toss. She was left there in just her white lacy panties as she straddled him. Ray lifted himself just enough to push down his pants and boxers, Felicity held tight not wanting to end up falling onto the floor. A moment later, Ray's hand was discarded her panties and gripping her ass. 

"Felicity," he whispered before taking her mouth with his. Slowly, he repositioned her so that she was laying on the bed and he was right over her. 

His cock was hard against her thigh and kept pressing against her now exposed wet folds. It was close to agony to have him so close and yet not pressing into her. Her hips rose, trying to force him to give up and to stop teasing her. He let out a light laugh before his lips brushed against hers. His nose nuzzled hers for a moment as he slowly lowered his weight to hers, her hardened nipples pressing against his muscled chest. There was little repositioning to be done before Ray was finally pressing into her. 

A moan escaped her lips. There was something so satisfying and almost relieving when you were teased and you finally had that fulfilled, especially when it was this. Her hips rose and her legs opened wide to take him in as deep as he would go before wrapping her legs up around his waist. His thrusts were gentle and slow as his lips caressed her neck and her shoulder and across to the other shoulder before venturing down to her breasts. She loved the kisses and the sucking… He knew how that turned her on. 

He was slowly working her towards her climax and it was so delightful but agonizing at the same time. Maybe it was because fatigue was hitting her once again. It only made her want that blissful release even more now. Her hand reached out and with a featherlight touch, the tip of her finger ran along his balls as she clenched down on his cock inside of her for a moment. He didn't speed up then, though, he continued the slow pace.

It was as if he were watching her and waiting for frustration to really set in before he gradually picked up the pace, thrusting into her faster and faster. Felicity moaned and squeezed her breasts, Ray's tongue came down and licked her hardened nipples which just made her squirm...which set off a whole different sensation as her hips thrust forward. Her clit was stimulated every time. "Ray," she moaned as she felt herself so close to the edge. 

He was silent except for the moans and the occasionally light grunts he'd make. His hands were tight on her hips, keeping them from moving away. Her legs pulled up his back, but he quickly moved them so that they were over his shoulders and he was pressing down, their bodies still close even with her legs like that. It was a different angle, but it was definitely a GOOD angle. 

It wasn't long before she was crying out his name again, moans pouring out of her as her back arched, her toes curled, her body shook a bit, lightning felt like it was going up and down all her nerves, and she clenched down on him even though he was still moving inside of her. He came a moment later, his cock pumping into her and twitching. Felicity held his ass, so that he could move. She didn't want to be apart. She wished that they could just lay next to each other, be one like this, and just sleep. 

"I'm definitely exhausted now," Ray whispered into her ear a few minutes later. They'd turned onto their sides and Ray was pressed against her back with his arms wrapped around her. He kissed her neck. "I love you, Mrs. Palmer."

"I love you, Mr. Palmer," she told him with a smile as she turned to take a proper kiss goodnight from him. One thing was for sure, they were both going to sleep well.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC...


	4. Thankful

 

**= December 2018 - Star City =**

  
  


Felicity was exhausted and wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the holidays...let alone with her mother in town.  She just felt like she needed to be on top of things when her mother was in town and Felicity also knew that her being tired only made it harder for her to handle her mother's visit.  

 

"We've got to get up," Ray told her as he snuggled closer.

 

"Thank you for getting up with Liv," she whispered.  Their daughter, Olivia...but Liv...for short, was only a few months old and they were still struggling with getting enough sleep.  Ray had wanted to be involved as much as possible, which he'd even tried to be up EVERY time she had to be up with Liv when she was first born...until they decided that was too hard and he wasn't sleeping enough.

 

"I only had to sing 'The Ballad of Serenity' like...a million times," Ray told her.  "I probably have all my steps for the entire week."

 

Felicity just smiled sleepily at him.  "You get up now...we can still shower together…"

 

"I like showering," Ray mumbled against her and then kissed the side of her head.  "I like showering  _ with _ you even more…"

 

Rolling out of bed and pulling blankets with her so that they weren't covering Ray, she smiled devilishly back at him.  "Then you better get out of bed…"

 

Ray groaned, but he moved and he moved quickly.

 

They wouldn't have much time to shower...there was not only Liv to think about, but that things needed to be done that morning.  It was the last day of school before the winter holiday started.  That meant that there really couldn't be any slacking.     
  
Moving to the bathroom, Felicity quickly started to shower, ensuring that it would be warm enough.  There was never a certainty for anything being uninterrupted, especially not showering together.  Felicity wanted to take full advantage of it.  Sure, the girls were really good with Liv, but she didn't want them to feel like they needed to play mommy.  

 

They really both needed this shower, though.

  
"You know, we don't  _ have _ to host holidays here...we could just have a low key holiday," Felicity told him as she stripped.  The sound of the shower going was soothing and so inviting.  She knew that they couldn't be long, but she was going to enjoy every second of it.  

 

"I know that it's a lot...and I don't want you to think that you have to do everything on your own, but I think that having Hanukkah and Christmas last year really helped the girls...plus, your mom is going to be here," Ray pointed out as he was taking his cue from Felicity about getting naked.  "Why don't we let the girls decorate?  We'll order food for both holidays...and we'll just give everyone the head's up that we're not going to be over the top?"  He shrugged a moment later.  "We can do all the present shopping online.  Have it delivered.  Hell, they'll even wrap."

 

He was right.

 

"I just...I don't know if I have the energy for it all this year...and that sort of sounds horrible...and pathetic…" Felicity said as she crinkled up her nose.

 

Ray moved to her, his hands settling on her bare hips.  He smiled brightly down at her and kissed her nose.  "You, my love, are _ never  _ horrible or pathetic…"  He was quiet for a moment.  "Wanting to take things easy and not pushing ourselves to exhaustion or insanity because we have a new baby...that's not a crazy thing.  I think it's smart."

 

"I'm just afraid my mom--"

 

"Quentin's going to be here," Ray reminded.  "They seem to get on okay."

 

"I'm pretty sure my mom's infatuated with him…"

 

"Does Laurel know?"

 

"I don't know if she _ wants  _ to know," Felicity said.  "It still creeps me out a bit…"

 

" _ Come on _ ," Ray brushed it off.  "Having Quentin Lance as your stepdad...things could be worse."

 

Shaking her head, Felicity just grabbed him and hauled him with her towards the shower.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I still think it's silly…"

 

"I actually think it's sort of neat," Quentin countered.

 

Felicity didn't miss the look her mother gave Quentin.  Were they dating?  They seemed to be joined at the hip on this visit...but whenever it was brought up, they always brushed it off.  She supposed if things got serious, her mother would be the first to be squealing about it.  So, she just sat there on the couch, nursing Liv, as her mother and Quentin watched the girls decorate the book tree that they'd put together once again.

 

"You know what?" Donna spoke up.  "I've totally dropped the ball...I haven't taught any of you any Hanukkah songs…"

 

"There are songs?" Clara asked, suddenly interested.

 

"Of course there are songs!"  Now her mother was looking in her direction.  Felicity knew it was coming.  She knew what was coming.  "How is it that you haven't taught them any songs?"

 

"I...have been a little busy?" Felicity offered.

 

"I think I know a song about a dreidel…" Alex offered.  

 

"Well, I was thinking something more...current," Donna told them.  "I mean, I can see how the tradition ones would benefit you...teach you a bit more about the culture...BUT...I don't think that you'd absorb them as much…"

 

"This is all sounding like some kind of history lesson all of the sudden."

 

"Well, it sort of is."

 

Felicity had noticed that Etta was being quiet.  This wasn't unusual, but she knew that especially around the holidays that they needed to be more observant of the kids.  She and Ray had been watching them even more so since Liv had arrived.  There had been several times where Alex had caught their attention, she didn't want to be a burden or she seemed to not feel connected.  They'd worked so hard since the girls had joined their family to make sure that they felt loved and included, but the holidays and special events always seemed to test it.

 

"You know, I think maybe I'll borrow Etta for a little bit to help me," Felicity spoke up.  If nothing else, she needed to talk to her daughter and assess if there was a problem.  She didn't want any of the girls to be uncomfortable, especially during the holidays, but she also didn't want to have the conversation in front of everyone else.  That would just humiliate Etta when there was no need to do that.  

 

Her mother obviously had other plans as she spoke up.  "But I'm going to teach them--" 

 

"So, wait and you can teach--"

 

"How long are you going to be?  Why can't it wait?" her mother rattled off faster than Felicity could get the words out.  "I am trying to--"

 

Instead of continuing the argument, she just glared at her mother, but it was Quentin's clearing of his throat that got her mother to stop.  Felicity sucked in a breath and tried to remind herself that this wasn't going to be forever, it was just for the holidays.  She knew that she would be happy that they were able to have family holidays, but right now...she was having a difficult time being in that particular mindset.  

 

"Etta's a smart girl, I'm sure if she misses something, you can catch her up quickly," Quentin put out a breath later.

 

"Okay, good," Felicity said a bit too brightly before motioning for Etta.  She wasn't finished feeding Liv, but she could do it  in the other room while she talked to Etta.  Adjusting her shirt and battling with a now grumpy infant, she got to her feet and motioned for Etta to head back towards her and Ray's bedroom.  She looked over her shoulder at her mother and the girls and noticed Quentin giving her a nod.  Felicity nodded back and was glad he was there, if nothing else...he seemed to have the superpower to rein in her mother.

 

Once in the bedroom, Etta found a seat on the corner of the bed and Felicity moved to the glider.  She got Liv back to nursing, which made her youngest much happier.  Turning her attention back to the next eldest, she put on a small smile.  "You okay?" she asked quietly.  Etta was really the one that needed the quiet conversations and needed her space more so than Alex and Clara.  "I know my mom can be--"

 

"I was just a little sad," Etta confessed.

 

"That's okay."

 

"Nan wouldn't think so."

 

Felicity sighed because she knew that Etta wasn't wrong.  "Sometimes we all need to be sad and we need time alone...or quiet time.  That's okay."  She felt bad for Etta because Felicity knew that her mother was far more outgoing, loud, and flat out intense...and it was all too much for most people.  "Listen to me, if you need time away from everyone...you can say something.  It doesn't have to be an announcement.  You can just go to your room or you can say something me to or to Ray or to even Quentin."

 

"Are they going to be married?"

 

"You would know more than I would on that front."

 

"Well, they like each other."

 

"So it seems."

 

"Is that weird for you?" Etta asked.

 

Felicity smiled at that.  Things had been suddenly turned around.  "A little."

 

"But Quentin is great."

 

"He is."

 

"And Nan likes him."

 

"She does."

 

"He would be a really good Grandpa...like a real one…"

 

"You're right."

 

"I hope they do get married."

 

"Yeah...just  maybe not rush into it."

 

Etta just smiled at that.  "That sounds very unlike Nan."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


The book tree had made its triumphant return.  

 

Every year, Felicity swore that the girls made it look better and better.  There was more and more representation of everything that their family loved and stood for.  The only thing that made it harder was that there were people that she wished were there, that weren't.  She stared at the girls as they sat around the tree with presents.  Blessed was the best word she could think of for that moment as she held Liv.  This was not how she had expected her life would look like, but she wouldn't change it.  

 

"Mom, come sit with us," Clara called.

 

Ray was on the other side of the tree, shaking a box and looking almost more excited about opening presents than the girls did.  There wasn't much there to open, there had been Hanukkah presents and honestly the girls really didn't want much of anything.  Most things they wanted were books.  Ray was all about spoiling them, but she really couldn't fault him for it.  

 

She settled down between Clara and Ray, Liv in her arms.  Her mother and Quentin joined on the other side a moment later.  Felicity wondered if her mother thought she'd ever be celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas every year as a family...because they'd been doing it fairly consistently.  It was good, though.  She'd not really thought it was so important, but since Christmas was important to the girls then it was important to the entire family...and it always would be.  They were a blended family and they would blend holidays where need be.  

 

"How about we go around and say something we feel blessed about?" Felicity suggested.  She was just so happy to have them all there.  Sure, it sounded silly, but sometimes it was good to hear it outloud.  "I'll go first.  I feel blessed that we are all able to come together and celebrate more than one winter holiday and I think each year we learn more and it just gets better."

 

Ray was next.  "I feel blessed that our family is bigger this year, but that our traditions just get bigger and better and more personal to our family."

 

"I'm just blessed that no one's killed each other," Quentin mumbled with a shrug.

 

Felicity grinned and her mother looked shocked at Quentin.  Donna sighed and shook her head before looking at everyone with a smile on her face.  "I am just so blessed to have grandchildren.  I am so happy that you girls are willing to learn another heritage and take that in.  Thank you."

 

Etta was quiet, but everyone fell absolutely silent so she could speak.  "I am thankful for our family, even if i t's not traditional."

 

Alex spoke up quickly, maybe to keep anything from being commented on about what Etta had said.  "And I am thankful for the fact that we are able to be accepted for however insane or geeky or quiet or goofy we are...because we are a family, which I think is something that we all didn't think we'd have...well, in the way we have it now."

 

And Alex was right.  

 

"I am thankful for," Clara picked up next.  Her tone was bright and perky and likely the most excited out of them all to actually do the 'I am thankful for' round.  "Everyone here...and books.  How can you not be thankful for books?  They're amazing!  They teach us things and help us understand the world and they take us to new worlds...which is why they're always the perfect gift...and they're always the best thing to share."

 

"Happy Christmas."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

TBC...

 

 


	5. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

 

**= December 2019 - Star City =**

  
  


"You  _ do _ remember that we have packages by the door," Felicity reminded Ray as she motioned towards it.  She had been letting her mother handle everything to do with Hanukkah and the girls handle the Christmas things.  It worked out well for her because that left with her doing little, especially cooking and prep.  Though, her mother had found a few times to criticize her not being more involved with the Hanukkah decorating and prep.  It wasn't that she didn't care about her heritage, she did...it was just always a stressful time when her mom was there.  

 

"They're from the Diggles," Ray told her.

 

Which she knew.

 

She'd told the girls that they could stay by the door until Christmas, mainly because they didn't really do presents under the book tree.  It was more a small gathering of things around it and the package that the Diggles had sent them was rather large.  So, it was just a lot neater to keep it boxed up until Christmas.

 

Felicity watched for a moment as Ray opened the box and started to unpack it.  It was a year of Hanukkah and Christmas coinciding, which the girls had told her that they thought was more fun.  They'd baked earlier with her mother and sang songs for both holidays.  Quentin had timed all of the baking to ensure nothing burned, which was mostly because he had been very vocal about eating the cookies.  There had been a solo with Etta quietly singing a song about peace in Latin that had absolutely floored all of them and then her mother had been even more shocked that Etta had known what each word meant in English.  It was a blending and it was perfect as far as Felicity was concerned.

 

"You know that I could help with the cooking, right?" Quentin asked.

 

"I was counting on it," Felicity told him with a smile.  

 

He smiled in return.  "Just don't expect anything spectacular."

 

"Your knife skills are enough," Felicity said.  "I am horrible at cutting things up into uniform pieces and small enough."

 

Ray came back by and paused for a moment, obviously having overheard their conversation.  "Please,  _ please _ ...do the chopping," Ray seemed to practically beg Quentin, which got a chuckle out of the older man.  "You should see it when she helps me with a salad...they'll be half a mushroom and then a whole mushroom and then actual sliced mushrooms...but they're sliced the wrong way."

 

"Does it really matter which way you slice the mushroom?  It all goes to the same place, no matter…"

 

"It still matters," Ray insisted before pressing a kiss to her forehead.  "But I still love your weirdly chopped vegetables."

 

"But you prefer them cut the proper way...which I'm _ totally _ fine with," she said with a smile.  

 

"Because that means she doesn't have to cut them," Ray pointed out.

 

Felicity just beamed at them before moving to check on girls.  She found a donut being handed to her and Felicity happily accepted it from her mother before she was kissed on the cheek.  It was unexpected, but most welcome (the donut and the kiss).

 

"I'm so proud of you, Sweetie," her mother told her.

 

That was even  _ more  _ unexpected.

 

"I love you," Felicity told her mom.  

 

"I'm making the latkes tomorrow."

 

"Oh-kay," Felicity said slowly and slightly surprised.  "Are you having Quentin help?"

 

"Well and Raymond, of course," her mother said with a smile before patting her shoulder and walking off.

 

Okay.

 

Felicity really didn't care what they were eating which day, she just hoped that it didn't end in some kind of kitchen disaster or fire or something…  She already had researched all the local places that were open even on holidays most places were closed that could deliver (just as a back up during her mother's stay).  

 

"Does this mean we can open presents now?" Clara asked brightly as she bounced a bit.  "I mean, it's not like we have a set time, right?  You said on Christmas we could open the presents from Uncle John and Aunt Lyla--"

 

"Okay," Felicity found herself saying quickly.  "But let me get Ray before we open anything...and Liv--"

 

"I'll get Liv!"

 

Before she could say anything else, Clara was off to gather her sisters.  She closed her mouth and shook her head for a moment before going to retrieve her husband.  She knew that her mother and Quentin wouldn't care so much about them opening the presents from the Diggles, but Felicity liked to make sure she got pictures at the very least if not also video.  It was nice to send to them, it sometimes made them feel a little closer.  John and Lyla did the same when it came to gifts for Sara.  

 

She found Quentin and Ray chatting about food and cooking and about how neither one of them thought they were very good.  So, she just listened for a moment, a smile spreading across her face.  Her mother had been pursuing Quentin for years now and Felicity had to admit, having him for her stepdad really wouldn't be so horrible.  He already felt like a dad to her and he was definitely a grandpa to the girls…  They seemed to notice her and Ray looked up at her.  "The girls wanted to open the presents from John and Lyla…"

 

"I've got this," Quentin told Ray.  "You go."

 

"You're sure?" Ray questioned, obviously not wanting to just abandon his kitchen duties to Quentin.

 

"It's just for a few minutes, right?"

 

"Right."

 

"I'll be fine."

 

Ray beamed.  "Thanks."

 

God, she loved having them all together...even if her mother sometimes drove her nuts.  

 

Felicity waited there for Ray until he got to her, she took his arm, and then they walked into the other room together.  The girls were all already gathered around the presents under the book tree.  Her mother was sitting nearby, seemingly amused by the girls.  Felicity and Ray sat on the floor, completing the circle.  "Okay, we're going to open them one by one," Felicity told them all as she got her phone ready.  

 

Alex set gifts out in front of everyone and Felicity got it so she was ready to record Liv.  She was only one, but she sort of knew about tearing paper, at least if someone started it.  The girls knew that that was how they were doing it, since that was how they'd been doing everything, so there was no discussion beforehand.  It was better this way.  She pressed record and gave Clara a nod, who helped Liv get the first tear going.  A moment later, Liv was tearing the paper and giggling.  She seemed to be having more fun in that moment with the paper and hadn't even noticed the gift inside.  Clara held up the robot toy that had been inside and pressed the buttons, as soon as it lit up and made a sound, Liv was grabbing it and squealing in delight.

 

"Let's get it out of the box first," Etta said as she immediately went to work to help the youngest Palmer sibling to free her toy.  

 

Felicity had stopped the recording while the girls got the robot out.  Once it started to roll around, light up, and sing...that's when she started to record again and Liv was absolutely in love with it.  "Tank you tank you tank you," Liv kept repeating over and over again in between fits of giggles as she played with the robot.  She knew that Lyla and John would be glad that it went over so well.  

 

Everyone just enjoyed Liv playing with her new toy before each of the girls took turns opening their presents.  They all received books that were about survival and adventure with strong female main characters.  The girls had been telling Lyla about how they'd discovered Jolabokaflod, an Icelandic tradition of a book on Christmas Eve.  The girls absolutely loved books, so something like this was absolutely exciting to them.  

 

Ray went next and was immediately grinning.  It was a blue shirt that said 'Never trust an ATOM they make up everything' and the 'O' in ATOM was the atom symbol that had been on Ray's suit all those years ago.  "This is the best thing," he beamed.

 

Felicity was glad that she caught his reaction on video.  She was certain that Diggle had been the one to pick it out.  Ray was immediately pulling it on over his button up shirt and tie.  Shaking her head, a bright smile spreading across her face, she knew that that was now his new favorite shirt.  It was a nice blast from the past, though.  

 

"I don't get it," Clara said as she squinted at his shirt.

 

"Because atoms make up everything," Etta explained.  "The whole world."

 

"Oh," Alex said, still frowning and sort of squinting.

 

Clara just blinked.  "I still don't get it."

 

"It's cool," Etta told her older sister with a pat to her shoulder.  

 

"So cool!" Ray enthused maybe a bit too much in that moment, Felicity also got that on video.

 

Now it was her turn.  The box was small.  She removed the paper and then found that it was a little wooden box that just barely fit in the palm of her hand.  Opening it, she gasped and nearly dropped the box as her hand shook.  Her eyes immediately teared up and she struggled to keep it together.  

 

"You okay, Mom?" Etta asked.

 

"What is it?" Clara pushed.

 

It was something that reminded her of the old days too.  

 

"It's an arrowhead," she managed to get out, even though she could hear that she sounded sad and cry-y.  It was more than just an arrowhead, though, it was something that very much reminded her of Oliver.  It was rough and obviously something that had been found.  

 

"Is it dirty?" Clara questioned as she peeked at it.  "Why would they send you something that looks like they dug it out of the ground?"

 

And she was right.

 

"It's the meaning behind it," Felicity said and then realized as she looked up at the girls and her mother that they were likely now going to want to know that meaning.  "It's just something that reminds me of the times when John and Lyla were here."  

 

"Weird…"

 

That was fine, everyone else could think it was weird.  She looked over at Ray and saw the sympathetic look he was giving her.  He knew.  He understood.  It was killing her to stare down at it, but at the same time...it was comforting too.  So much of their past had been boxed up and locked away.  It was good to have reminders of the past even if it was one that made her want to cry over it.  

 

"Okay!" she said a moment later, trying to push the sad emotions out of her voice as she closed the box.  "Let's get back to things!  Quentin probably thinks we've abandoned him in the kitchen to prepare dinner all on his own…"

 

The girls were immediately on their feet, mainly to discuss their books amongst each other, but were definitely making their way towards the kitchen.  Her mother moved to her as Felicity also got to her feet and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to her until she could press a kiss to her daughter's forehead.  "You okay?" her mother asked with concern.

 

"Yeah…" Felicity whispered.  "Just…  I just need a minute," she said and hoped that her mother wouldn't push, even though her mother was really good at that.  

 

"Okay, I'll get Liv and I'll make sure that Quentin is properly supervised," her mother told her all too seriously before scooping up both Liv and her robot.  

 

That phrase brought a smile to her lips.  "Properly supervised?"

 

Her mother didn't reply to that, but instead just smirked and her eyes sparkled before leaving them alone.  

 

Felicity looked over at Ray.  She wondered at first if he was upset at all that she'd been upset about her gift since he knew what the arrowhead had to mean for her.  Oliver.  She'd loved him all those years ago.  His loss had been so hard on her, on the entire team...but Ray, her darling Ray knew that the arrowhead brought complicated and complex feelings within her.  He knew it without even discussing it, she could see it in his eyes as he looked back at her.  "All those years ago," she started with a whisper.  "I never thought that I would grow so close to Oliver or John...and I hadn't even met Thea, Roy, Sara, Laurel, or Quentin…"

 

He moved over to her, his arms wrapping around her.  "I miss them too, well...except Quentin because he's in the other room."

 

She smiled at that and for a moment, allowed tears to fall.  "I knew death came with what we did...but I never thought that we'd lose people…  That we'd lose Oliver...and Sara…"

 

"But we haven't," Ray whispered as he pressed a kiss into her hair.  "They live on inside of us, in what they did, and the city that they brought about…"

 

"No one talks about them anymore…they don't know who they really were."

 

"No, but I don't think either of them would have wanted it that way."

 

And he was right.

 

They had never been in it for fame.

 

He held her for as long as she needed, but Felicity knew that they couldn't be left alone for long.  She breathed slowly, calming herself down, the arrowhead still in her hand.  When she pulled back, she sighed and pulled her glasses off to clean them.  Ray pressed a kiss to her forehead.  She still felt blessed, all these years later, to have Ray as a husband and to have the family that they had.  It hadn't always been easy and it hadn't have been something that she would have thought she'd be happy with (if someone had told her years before), but she was.  "I love you," she told him.

 

"I love you, too."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


"I don't understand why gelt is both chocolate coins and real money," Clara said in confusion as she stared down at a wrapped piece of chocolate that looked very much like a golden coin.  

 

"I don't even question it," Alex countered in the middle of eating one of her chocolate coins.  

 

Felicity shrugged.  "Me either."

 

That didn't seem like something her mother was too thrilled about, but she was far too involved currently in supervising Ray and Quentin in the kitchen.  They were on latkes duty and though her mother had said that she'd be cooking dinner, but her cooking dinner either really meant that it was going to involve a fire, be inedible, or her supervising.  Felicity really preferred the supervision part and neither Ray nor Quentin seemed to mind in that moment.  

 

"You know, I feel like we should make sure that we have baking soda handy, just in case," Ray said.  "I feel like a grease fire might put a damper on our festivities."

 

Her mother didn't argue and she watched as her husband retrieved the box from the cupboard and set it next to the stove.  Felicity's phone beeped and she looked down at the message.  A smile instantly spread across her face, instant excitement filling her.  "Digg wants to know if we can video chat," Felicity announced.  "He wants us to see Sara."

 

"You go on and go ahead," Ray told her.  "Take the girls.  I'm going to work on this."

 

"You could go," her mother told him.

 

"No, I want to learn how to make these properly."

 

The journey to perfecting the latkes to her mother's standards was something that had already surpassed one holiday year.  This was just one thing that Felicity knew that Ray was really trying to get right and impress her mother, though she honestly felt like it was kind of a lost cause.  

 

"Okay," Felicity said.  She got up and the girls were already heading over to the desktop computer that they had in the common area of the house.  Liv was playing on the floor, so Felicity figured she was easy enough to grab and show off, but that she'd let her play for the moment.

 

They logged in and waited a moment until the Diggles started a call with them.  Lyla's hair was short, John had some scruff, and Baby Sara was definitely not a baby anymore (though Felicity had a feeling that she'd always think of her in that way).  "Happy holidays," she greeted brightly.  This was exactly what she needed.  She needed to see them, to feel like (even if it were just mere moments) that they were closer than they actually were.  She adored Lyla, but she missed John so much.  There had been a time (a good chunk of it, in fact) where they'd spent most of their days (and even nights) together (and with Oliver...and the others).  

 

"Hi!" Sara excitedly announced.

 

"Sara!" all the girls exclaimed together.  

 

"How is everyone on your end?" Lyla asked.

 

"The house hasn't been burnt down," Clara said quietly.

 

"Yet," Etta added.

 

"Thank you for our presents!" Alex chimed in.  "Seriously, books are the best presents ever...I will fight anyone who says otherwise."

 

"Feisty," John commented.

 

"And Liv absolutely loves her toy," Felicity said.  

 

"Sara was trying to figure out how to attach a camera to her droid in order to spy," Lyla said a bit flat.  

 

"What?  They should make them with cameras," Sara said.  "Also, thank you.  I do love it...even if Dad took it away."

 

"He's probably playing with it when you're in bed," Alex teased.

 

"I'd have to know how to work the thing first," John grumbled a little.

 

"And the books are really cool, though they just seem to confuse Dad too," Sara said.  "And my tent...is amazing."

 

"You got a tent?" Clara questioned.

  
The Diggles moved around their camera so that Sara's tent could be seen in the background.  It wasn't the kind that was for camping, but rather one that was for playing in and that could be rearranged into any layout that you wished.  "Now if the droid would just stay in the tent...we'd be set," John said.

 

"Johnny tripped over it the other day," Lyla commented.

 

"Which is the real reason it got confiscated," Sara spoke up, clearly irked by her parents' punishment.

 

"I'm still jealous by the fact that  you have a tent," Clara stated.

 

Felicity shook her head.  The girls were all at the age where they hadn't wanted to do anything with tents (especially the camping type) and they all had their own individual rooms.  She hadn't heard them voice the need for such a thing, so she had no idea why Clara would be jealous.  

 

"Did Ray enjoy his present?" John questioned, a bright smile on his face.

 

"Oh!  I haven't sent the videos yet!  You have to watch it for yourself, I'm glad I was doing videos instead of photos because a picture just wouldn't have done it justice.  Felicity pulled out her phone and was immediately forwarding the videos from the day before to Lyla and John.  

 

"Have you heard from Thea and Roy?" Lyla questioned.

 

"Not in the last two months," Felicity told her honestly. 

 

"They're fine."

 

"You talked to them?"

 

"No, but I redirected satellites and saw it with my own two eyes.  They're volunteering," Lyla filled her in.  

 

As creepy as it would sound to probably anyone else, it brought Felicity a sense of peace to know that they were okay.  "I was going to reach out to her in the next few days if I hadn't heard anything from them."

 

"I'd still do it."

 

"I will."

 

"And tell them that we haven't heard from them in longer than that," John spoke up.  

 

"It's just because I harass Thea."

 

"I'll have to do that more," Lyla said.

 

"It's good for her," John added.

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  


Her mother and Quentin had left for the evening.  Felicity still felt like it was odd that they wouldn't even label whatever their relationship was as dating.  It seemed silly, but she was just glad that they both seemed happy.  Sometimes it was enough that Felicity actually wished that her mother lived in Star City permanently because of how happy Quentin was as well.  

 

Sometimes.  

 

The girls were asleep and she had been asleep, but then had woken up not long after falling asleep and had slipped out of bed.  Felicity was standing in the living room with her robe wrapped around her.  The arrowhead in hand as she stared at the pictures on their mantle.  The picture of her with John and Oliver made her want to cry.  They were so happy in it, but it was something she missed.  Not the crime fighting so much, but them…  She set the arrowhead up against the frame on the side that Oliver was standing on.  

 

After seeing how big Sara was, it made the picture of her with her parents when she was just an infant like a lifetime ago.  They always got newer pictures, but it wasn't the same as when they'd all been living in the same city.  Everyone was so spread out now and it felt like they didn't get to really talk to each other (let alone see each other).  It was something that they'd all taken advantage of when they were all in Star City.  

 

"Felicity?" 

 

She turned to see Ray standing there with the throw from their chair wrapped around him.  His hair was messy and he looked half awake.  "I didn't mean to wake you," Felicity apologized quietly.  

 

"No,  you didn't...but why are you out here?" he asked as he continued to walk towards her.  

 

"Couldn't sleep."

 

"You could have woken me up."

 

"No need for both of us to lose sleep."  It was very true.  Liv didn't sleep through the night yet, so sleep was still very much a precious thing to the both of them.  

 

Ray just shrugged before wrapping his arms around her from behind.  "Why couldn't you sleep?"

 

"I miss them."

 

"Is this because of the arrowhead?"

 

"No," Felicity said quickly.  A thought later, she decided that maybe that wasn't completely true.  "Yes.  I mean, I always miss them, but the arrowhead did make me think of Oliver and think back to when we were all part of Team Arrow…"

 

"We're still part of Team Arrow."

 

Felicity turned in his blanket covered arms and stared at him in confusion.  "No…"

 

"We will always be Team Arrow, Felicity," Ray told her.  "Because you know...one day we might need to come back together and fight evil...or something…"

 

A small smile pulled at her lips.  "We're retired, I thought?"

 

"You make it sound like we're eighty…"

 

"Sometimes it feels like it."

 

"Okay, that's fair…"

 

It wasn't that they'd let themselves go.  They had a gym in their home that they both used, but their lives weren't like it had once been.  She and Ray were parents and they both worked for Palmer Tech.  Their lives were routine and the closest that they came to needing a weapon of any kind was when a spider randomly appeared in the shower.  

 

"Next year will be better," Ray told her.

 

She just stared at him, not quite sure she believed him...or even knew what he meant by it. 

 

"I promise," he continued.  "I'll call Lyla and John...Roy and Thea...and we'll get everyone to come home next year.  We'll throw a huge holiday celebration," Ray promised.  "It's been a long time coming anyways.  We always said that we'd all stay in touch and stay in each other's lives...and that hasn't exactly happened."  He shrugged.  "By then maybe Quentin and Donna will have decided to label their relationship...and with how things are going...I'd say married."

 

"What?"

 

"I'm just saying that I wouldn't be surprised if they eloped off to Vegas and just got married without telling us," Ray told her.  Felicity just beamed at that image.  Though, she'd honestly not be surprised at that.  He pulled his arms away from her, his hands emerging from the blanket he was wrapped in so that he could do air quotes.  "You know...they're go from  _ friends _ ...to  _ married _ ."

 

That just made her smile all the more.  "The sad part is that I can see that happening…"

 

"Come back to bed?" Ray asked gently.

 

Felicity gave a nod and his arm wrapped around her as they turned to head back to their bedroom.  The idea of everyone being together the next holiday was something that brought a lot of hope, joy, and general excitement for her.  Felicity didn't think it would happen...at least not in the way that Ray was describing it, but she knew that he'd try quite hard to try to make it happen.  

 

She slipped back into bed, pulling the covers over her after discarding her robe on her glider only a few feet away from the bed.  Felicity sighed as she looked at the time on the clock before setting her glasses on the bedside table.  Ray got in on his side and immediately scooted towards the middle, his arms pulling her into an embrace.  Felicity's head just rested on his chest and she tried not to think too much about things.  "You know, we should take another quick trip…" she brought up.

 

"Where to?"

 

"New York?"

 

"Just vacation or work and vacation?"

 

"Vacation," Felicity told him firmly.  "And we use the sitter we used last time we were there."

 

"Or we could take your mom and Quentin?"

 

"Or we could use the sitter we used when we were there last time."

 

Ray just smiled.  "Or we can use the sitter."

 

"I just want to go and spend time together.  Walk around the city.  See all the shows.  Go to new places," Felicity told him.  New York was perfect because it was far enough away and big enough to feel like a huge vacation without it really being that.  They'd used a great babysitter for Liv previously, which would be perfect for when they'd see shows.  She just really felt like they needed to get away and to do something.  

 

They needed more than routine.

 

"I'm up for anything...as long as we're together," Ray told her before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

 

"Next year will be better."

 

"It will."

  
  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC in "Paths"...

 


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